Dear Mike Napoli,

Can I touch it?

In fact, can you make sure everyone on the team touches it? And really gives it a good rub every night. Especially Stephen Drew. Although be warned, you might need to cuddle him a little afterward.  The thing is, the beard is really working for you. Part woodsman. Part Old Testament. With a dash of hillbilly hipster. If hipsters could hit a 95 mph fastball.

My point is the rest of the team is flagging and something needs to be done. Preferably before Saturday.

I think you’ll agree that last night we got a lot out of a little run support. Jon Lester may have wavered at times, but he ultimately pulled it together on the mound. He did his job. Unlike Peavy. Who should probably stroke your beard too. But I am wondering if you could somehow communicate to the rest of the team that they can hit 460 foot homeruns as well. They can hit singles. Getting on the bags anyway possible is fine by me. Just do it consecutively.

Now I don’t want to seem ungrateful for all you boys have done of late. And I got to admit, it was nice to see a little aggression out there last night. Pede and Jacoby showing off their legs. David Ross getting rough at the plate. It was almost unnecessary. No. It was awesome. And I think you should all do it again soon.

Hugs,

Kristen

2 thoughts on “Dear Mike Napoli,

  1. Krissy, I have finally figured out your dream job: I think you should write for the Red Sox front office. No shit, I think I will gather all your Red Sox blogs together and submit them to their public relations office. Perhaps you could do the running team blog for the season. Seriously, think about it. Dad

    Sent from my iPad

  2. Oh how I would love to blog about the Sox. For money. But I don’t want to be one of those chicks with big hair who fawns all over them on the field. No way. I don’t have the bangs for that. Plus I want to be able to hold them accountable for being boobs. You know. Because it happens sometimes.

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