Dear Josh Beckett,
About last night … I understand if you need to cuddle later.
I mean, things definitely got a little heated. I think that there were some moments we both wish you could take back. But I want you to know, I’m not going to dwell on what happened between you and Posada. And Granderson. Look, I understand how much Opening Day means to you. So I won’t mention your past issues with performance anxiety and how sometimes, um, you’re not able to, um, locate your curveball. (Or fastball for that matter.)
Josh, believe me, that kind of talk makes me uncomfortable too. You have no idea how it makes me feel when people come up to me asking, ‘What’s up with your boyfriend? Why can’t he find the K zone?’ Josh, contrary to belief, that is not a mythical spot in the batter’s box. It exists. You’ve found it before. I know this. If you need a refresher course, I can show you just where it is. All you have to do is ask.
But let’s trump last night’s shortcoming up to frayed nerves. I mean, it freaked me out too when I saw CC step onto the mound. Both of him. I mean, size does matter. But that was just excessive. Kind of like John Lackey’s contract. But we won’t go there either… Because this isn’t the time or place for that discussion. Because right now, this is between me and you, and the commitment you exhibited today. I mean, four more years? And you didn’t even shop around for a better deal? You say you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else? I don’t even know what to say Josh. I’m touched.