Dear Steve Jobs,
I left a long-term relationship for you. In fact, it was so committed, that when I walked there were broken contracts and financial penalties in my wake. I left because you promised me something better. You wooed me with your polished product line of glass touchscreens that could sync my schedules, organize my life, and entertain me at all times. The possibilities were truly endless.
I admit. It was easy to leave Verizon. Especially after the primitive Samsung they sold me. It was like communicating in the dark ages. My new iPhone held so much promise I didn’t mind doubling my rates for you. Then things started to change. Conversations got shorter. We could no longer conduct a simple discussion without uncomfortable bouts of silence. Talks with my nana were punctuated with dropped calls. Do you have a nana Steve? How would you feel if she kept thinking you were hanging up on her?
I don’t want to tell you this. And I am not trying to embarrass you, but I find myself reminiscing about the good old days. When I could curl up on the couch with my phone, decide to make some tea, walk into the kitchen, and continue talking to the person on the other line. You remember, when cell phones were actually mobile devices? Days when coverage really meant something?
Don’t get me wrong Steve. I don’t like telling you that I sometimes fantasize about leaving. But lately I feel like I’m engaged in an abusive relationship with my iPhone. I hear myself telling my family, you don’t know what it’s like when it’s just us and it’s good …
And lately Steve, it’s not good. I should never find myself crouched on the sidewalk saying, ‘Can you hear me now? No? Now? How about now? Wait. I’ll email you…” No one should ever tell me, “Can you use a payphone?” I have a phone I pay for …
You’re a smart guy Steve. You know it doesn’t add up. And I don’t want to walk away. I’m committed to staying with you. I’m legally bound to you for another year. Yes. I have thought about the possibility that maybe I’m expecting too much from you. I mean GPS, thousands of apps, internet, music player, and a phone? But I visited the Apple web site today and it was right there on the iPhone page: “it’s a phone …” The phrase was repeated several times later, “iPhone is more than just a phone … all that makes it the best phone you’ll ever use … It works like no other phone.”
See why I am so upset Steve? I appreciate that you made me something pretty. I do. But I want it to be more than something I admire for its potential. Honey, I pay $121 a month for it to work. So please go talk to your friends over at AT&T. I heard a rumor you might be talking to Verizon. I’m usually not like this, but I’m ok if we have an open relationship with them. In fact, I still have their number. You should call them. Really. I don’t mind.