I want to make amends. I want to come clean. Because I feel bad.
You see, yesterday, a coworker wandered into my office to talk about your performance. And I will admit, I talked shit about you behind your back.
HER: So, what do you think about Dice-K coming back? I hope his head is back in it.
ME: His head is not the problem, it’s his heart. He doesn’t care.
Maybe that is true. Maybe you have already given up on the team and the rest of the season. Maybe you did just get fat and lose your edge. But you know what; I’m going to give you another chance.
Because lately I’ve been feeling pretty good about life. Lately, I’ve been feeling … happy. For no particular reason. Well, for no reason I really want to share with you. (Nothing personal Dice-K, we just don’t have that kind of relationship … yet.) And perhaps a bit selfishly, being disappointed in you is kind of weighing me down. So let’s start over. Let’s move on. Let’s be … friends?
Dice-K, tonight when you’re on the mound and start showing the first signs of fatigue; when everyone at Fenway is expecting you to falter, just know that out of respect for our resurrected friendship, that I will wait until at least the fourth inning before calling for your head.
Hugs from your new BFF,