This morning I opened my email to find a note from one of my favorite comedic authors, Suzanne Schlosberg. Her book The Curse of the Singles Table is my Bible and something I re-read on an annual basis just as some women revisit books like Pride and Prejudice, The Fountainhead or Harry Potter.
The book chronicles a three year dry spell in her early thirties in which Schlosberg endured more than 1,000 days without sex, a relationship or even a hot date while her sister was in the midst of planning her wedding. Now, this year I could sort of relate as my own sister (also named Jen) had her nuptials, and like Suzanne, I was tapped for the honor of making the wedding toast to the bride and groom.
Throughout The Curse Schlosberg is brutally honest, self-deprecating and insanely funny. I am waiting for the day I make it rich and can afford to buy the rights from the dude who originally bought them but never ponied up to actually make the film. It will be brilliant I tell you.
Over the years I have given copies of her book to no less than three girlfriends who were going through various states of disappointment – either with their jobs, their love lives, or some combination of the two. Now to be honest, Suzanne didn’t just write to me personally. She sent an email to fans announcing that she has new material about to hit the bookshelves. Upon reading this news I was thrilled!
Until I scrolled down.
Most of her new material is about babies, egg donors, and the difficult time she experienced getting pregnant. Now, I understand there is a huge market for this type of writing, and I do believe the topic should be written about in a brutally honest manner … but still. What am I supposed to do with that? And more importantly, is this my demographic now? Is this … my market?
Don’t get me wrong. I like looking at babies. But I have no desire to actually hold them. (What if I break it?) And I like listening to them make their little baby noises – as long as they are not crying. But I don’t have any desire to own a diaper genie, baby wipes or breast pump any time soon. With my birthday around the corner this was not the present I was hoping for. When did I go from swimming in the shallow end to the deep end overnight? This isn’t funny at all.