my half

A lot can change in a day.

Overnight, you can go from having a place to live, a warm body to sleep next to, and someone to call when the milk is low or there is a spider desperately in need of killing on the ceiling.

Overnight, you are suddenly lost and calling your dad at 3 am because you know he’s the only person awake who will answer his phone.

Overnight, you go from buying Christmas cards together to waking up next to a person who doesn’t want to sleep next to you anymore. And there you are – sitting on the floor of an apartment that’s not yours anymore – packing boxes and waiting for a moment to catch your breath so you don’t drown.

Overnight, you are standing in the wreckage of a failed nesting experiment and making plans to start your new life.

At least that’s how my 2008 began. With Emily (hungover) and me (heartbroken) loading the contents of my life into two cars and driving north.

I began Jan. 1 in a new apartment in a new city with a future unknown. With my birthday around the corner, I put celebrating on hold until conditions improved. The plan was to evaluate things in six months – give 27 a formal review – and decide then whether to hold a belated party or bypass 2008 altogether.

Well, I’ve reached the midway point, and I am pleased to report that there will be a party after all. You are all invited. The finding came after a thorough review of the circumstances. And I’ve made considerable progress on several fronts – both personally and professionally. But with regards to today’s post, I will focus on the personal.

For one, I’ve stopped being angry. One day I hope I can say I wish him nothing but the best. I do. But I am not there yet. However, I do no longer want to stick a fork in his eye. A good sign I think. 

Below is a short tally of some of the things I’ve mastered since January:

* Killing spiders. In the past, I used to either scream for the significant other to come and take care of them, or I would just cover the offending insect with a cup and wait until he got home to dispose of the creature. Now, I do it myself. Or … I call my roommate Dave to do it if he’s home. The point: I can do it myself now, I just choose to let Dave do it. (I think he likes having man chores anyway.)

* Driving stick in the city. I bought a standard right before I moved to California. I had a crash course driving stick in Boston and learned the rest out here. When I had a personal chauffeur, I was able to avoid driving the hills in SF. It’s amazing what a new set of tires can do for one’s confidence. I have a newfound appreciation for my car and the hills. I love the ‘Ru.

* Increased mileage: I definitely got the better end of the deal in the break up. I inherited San Francisco, he can keep the South Bay. Sometimes I will be running in the city, crest a hill and look out at the Bay and I can’t help but smile. I look ridiculous I know. But I still haven’t gotten over the bridge and how it looks different every time I see it. I hope I never do. My mileage has doubled since moving here.

* Avoiding red flags: In retrospect, I realize one really should pay attention to the red flags on the course – not bomb past them like an Olympic skier trying to set a new world record.

* Making new friends – I was sitting across from Emily at our coffee shop the other day when it me. I am … happy. In the past year I have cultivated a lovely group of friends – and that number has grown exponentially since moving to the city. Some people I’ve known for 25 years (Emily) while some I’ve only known for a season (Allison). But I do have a lot to celebrate.

So next month there will be a party. I am still meting out the details. But expect lots of meat and BBQ. Expect beer. And whiskey. Anticipate some football. Baseball mitts not required, but suggested. There may be costumes. Details to follow …

7 thoughts on “my half

  1. Muns! I saw on my facebook feed (thank GAWD for that, or else how would I know what everyone is up to?) that this was now your listed website so I clicked on the link and must say that I love your blog. As a fellow writer, I’m officially jealous, especially since I’m going through a horrible case of writer’s block at exactly the wrong time–when I’m supposed to be working on my thesis.

    Anyway, the point is, I love your writing! This last post definitely had me in tears. Let me know about this party because I definitely want to come! My mantra is, the more costumes, the better!

  2. I knew posting of Facebook would make an impact, and I am glad and excited to have made into this post (especially since it’s one that hits so close to home) Woohoo!

  3. Yay Munsey!! I am excited for you and you give me hope for 27 all over again 🙂
    Anyhow I am definitely coming to your party, even if I do have to crash it vegetarian style…

  4. I am totally in! And I have motivation to build a washers game now, however I still have to figure out hot to turn the “motivation” into an actual follow through!

    Also, I FULLY support the 1/2 b-day. I sometimes think those are much more fun anyway. The best party I’ve had for me since I was 21 was my 1/2 b-day party two years ago AND it was only topped by my b-day party when I was 5 and we popped ballons by sitting on them and it was held at the local McDonalds. God, I miss being 5.

  5. Munsey,

    I love your blogs but I have to warn you ahead of time, I’m an awful writer.
    I enjoyed reading about your love for Dunkin Donuts. However, I’m partial to the whole grain goodness that people know as Krispy Creme donuts. Their light that shined so brightly whenever new donuts were being brought into this world served as a tractor beam for many morbidly obese people, namely myself.
    It wasn’t until my last visit to see you and the boys that I painfully discovered Krispy Creme donuts could no longer be a huge part of my life. What brought me to this conclusion? Was it the fact that I couldn’t fit any of the clothes offered to me by friends once I decided to stay an extra night? Was it my need to take a knee after walking at a snail’s pace half way up Lombard Street? Or was it the glaze of sweat on my brow as I sheepishly introduced myself to a girl before lunch whom I had met the night before for just the first time?
    Krispy Creme donuts were no longer a huge part of my life for so many reasons but one sticks out right now more than any other. It’s so the swelling in my fingers subside to the point that I can comment on your blogs…. 🙂
    Count me in for your half birthday!!! That will be great!!!

  6. When the party is planned, you better invite us with enough time. We’ll bring the Dunkin Donuts coffee and boxes of microwaveable donuts. A lot can change in a day; people change their perspective pretty quickly when they lose their safety net, their health, their love, their companion, their home, their loved ones’ lives. I have been blessed, and perhaps also unfortunate, to have witnessed all of these events. You gain strength when they happen to you, you gain perspective when they happen to those around you. Your parents age; some day you just realize how old and frail they have become; and then you suddenly know that you too have aged just as much, and change comes with it. Someday, you will know the joy of sharing your life with the same person for 34 years (God, sounds like a long time) and always thinking it’s been such a brief time since you met, because you can remember the day…and you’re happy for all those since. You will have such a treasure trove of memories. Treasure your friends of 25 years, and 1 year. Dinosaur

  7. You are such a great writer, Kris. I reread this again this morning and it had me in tears a little. So glad that you are deciding to keep 27; I think it really has been an amazing and life changing year and I’m so happy that it brought us both to the same coast – nevermind same city – with such great people. You are the best and I can’t wait to celebrate with you.

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