A lot can change in a day.
Overnight, you can go from having a place to live, a warm body to sleep next to, and someone to call when the milk is low or there is a spider desperately in need of killing on the ceiling.
Overnight, you are suddenly lost and calling your dad at 3 am because you know he’s the only person awake who will answer his phone.
Overnight, you go from buying Christmas cards together to waking up next to a person who doesn’t want to sleep next to you anymore. And there you are – sitting on the floor of an apartment that’s not yours anymore – packing boxes and waiting for a moment to catch your breath so you don’t drown.
Overnight, you are standing in the wreckage of a failed nesting experiment and making plans to start your new life.
At least that’s how my 2008 began. With Emily (hungover) and me (heartbroken) loading the contents of my life into two cars and driving north.
I began Jan. 1 in a new apartment in a new city with a future unknown. With my birthday around the corner, I put celebrating on hold until conditions improved. The plan was to evaluate things in six months – give 27 a formal review – and decide then whether to hold a belated party or bypass 2008 altogether.
Well, I’ve reached the midway point, and I am pleased to report that there will be a party after all. You are all invited. The finding came after a thorough review of the circumstances. And I’ve made considerable progress on several fronts – both personally and professionally. But with regards to today’s post, I will focus on the personal.
For one, I’ve stopped being angry. One day I hope I can say I wish him nothing but the best. I do. But I am not there yet. However, I do no longer want to stick a fork in his eye. A good sign I think.
Below is a short tally of some of the things I’ve mastered since January:
* Killing spiders. In the past, I used to either scream for the significant other to come and take care of them, or I would just cover the offending insect with a cup and wait until he got home to dispose of the creature. Now, I do it myself. Or … I call my roommate Dave to do it if he’s home. The point: I can do it myself now, I just choose to let Dave do it. (I think he likes having man chores anyway.)
* Driving stick in the city. I bought a standard right before I moved to California. I had a crash course driving stick in Boston and learned the rest out here. When I had a personal chauffeur, I was able to avoid driving the hills in SF. It’s amazing what a new set of tires can do for one’s confidence. I have a newfound appreciation for my car and the hills. I love the ‘Ru.
* Increased mileage: I definitely got the better end of the deal in the break up. I inherited San Francisco, he can keep the South Bay. Sometimes I will be running in the city, crest a hill and look out at the Bay and I can’t help but smile. I look ridiculous I know. But I still haven’t gotten over the bridge and how it looks different every time I see it. I hope I never do. My mileage has doubled since moving here.
* Avoiding red flags: In retrospect, I realize one really should pay attention to the red flags on the course – not bomb past them like an Olympic skier trying to set a new world record.
* Making new friends – I was sitting across from Emily at our coffee shop the other day when it me. I am … happy. In the past year I have cultivated a lovely group of friends – and that number has grown exponentially since moving to the city. Some people I’ve known for 25 years (Emily) while some I’ve only known for a season (Allison). But I do have a lot to celebrate.
So next month there will be a party. I am still meting out the details. But expect lots of meat and BBQ. Expect beer. And whiskey. Anticipate some football. Baseball mitts not required, but suggested. There may be costumes. Details to follow …